Clever Hans



Hans goes to his bride Grete, gets gifts, uses them wrongly because he does not understand tips from his mother. Thus loses his bride.

Hansen's mother asks "where to, Hans?" Hans answers, "To Gretel." "Take care, Hans." "Take care. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good day, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel gives Hans a pin. Hans speaks "Adieu, Gretel." "Adieu, Hans."
Hans takes the needle, puts it in a hay wagon, and walks home behind the wagon. "Good evening, Mother." "Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?" "Been with Gretel." "What have you brought her?" "Nothing brought, given." "What has Gretel given you?" "Needle given." "Where do you have the needle, Hans?" "Stuck in hay cart." "You did that stupidly, Hans, had to put needle on sleeve." "Do nothing, do better."
"Where to, Hans?" "To Gretel, Mother." "Take care, Hans." "Take care. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good day, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel gave Hans a knife. "Adieu, Gretel." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans takes the knife, puts it on his sleeve and goes home. "Good evening, Mother." "Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?" "At Gretel's." "What have you brought her?" "Nothing brought, given." "What has Gretel given you?" "Gave knife." "Where did you put the knife, Hans?" "Pinned to the sleeve." "You did that stupidly, Hans, had to put the knife in the pocket." "Do nothing, do better."
"Where to, Hans?" "To Gretel, Mother." "Take care, Hans." "Take care. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good day, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel gives Hans a young goat. "Adieu, Gretel." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans takes the goat, ties its legs and puts it in his pocket. When he gets home, she has choked. "Good evening, mother." "Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?" "Been with Gretel." "What have you brought her?" "Nothing brought, given." "What has Gretel given you?" "Gave goat." "Where did you goat, Hans?" "Put it in the bag." "You did that stupidly, Hans, had to tie goat to a rope." "Do nothing, do better."
"Where to, Hans?" "To Gretel, Mother." "Take care, Hans." "Take care. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good day, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel gives Hans a piece of bacon. "Adieu, Gretel." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans takes the bacon, ties it to a rope and drags it behind him. The dogs come and eat the bacon. When he gets home, he has the rope on his hand, and there is nothing left on it. "Good evening, Mother." "Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?" "At Gretel's." "What have you brought her?" "Nothing brought, given." "What did Gretel give you?" "Piece of bacon given." "Where do you have the bacon, Hans?" "Tied to the rope, led home, took away dogs." "You did that stupidly, Hans, had to carry the bacon on your head." "Do nothing, do better." "Where to, Hans?" "To Gretel, mother." "Take care, Hans." "Do all right. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good day, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel gives Hans a calf. "Adieu, Gretel." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans takes the calf, puts it on his head, and the calf crushes his face. "Good evening, mother." "Good evening, Hans." "Where have you been?" "At Gretel's." "What have you brought her?" "Nothing brought, given." "What has Gretel given you?" "Calf given." "Where did you put the calf, Hans?" "Put on the head, face crushed." "You did that stupidly, Hans, had to lead the calf, and put it to the rack." "Do nothing, do better."
"Where to, Hans?" "To Gretel, Mother." "Take care, Hans." "Take care. Goodbye, mother." "Goodbye, Hans."
Hans comes up to Gretel. "Good afternoon, Gretel." "Good afternoon, Hans. What good do you bring?" "Bring nothing, have given." Gretel says to Hans "I want to go with you."
Hans takes Gretel, ties her to a rope, guides her, leads her in front of the trough and ties her tightly. Hans then goes to his mother. "Good evening, mother." "Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?" "At Gretel's." "What did you bring her?" "Nothing." "What did Gretel give you?" "Nothing given, gone along." "Where did you leave Gretel?" "Led her by the rope, tied her in front of the hay rack, threw grass in front of her." "You did it stupidly, Hans, had to give her friendly eyes." "Do nothing, do better."
Hans goes into the stable, gouges out the eyes of all the calves and sheep, and throws them in Gretel's face. Then Gretel gets angry, breaks away and runs away, and has been Hans' bride.