Doctor Know-all



A farmer pretends to be a doctor and solves the mystery of a theft. Thus he becomes a celebrity as Doctor Omniscient.

Once upon a time there was a poor farmer named Krebs, who drove a load of wood into town with two oxen and sold it to a doctor for two thalers. When the money was paid to him, the doctor was sitting at the table: the farmer saw him eating and drinking beautifully, and his heart sank, and he would have liked to be a doctor, too. So he stood there for a while and finally asked if he could also become a doctor. Oh yes,' said the doctor, 'that will soon be done. What must I do?" asked the farmer. First, buy yourself an Abc book, such is one with a rooster in the front; second, make money out of your wagon and your two oxen and buy yourself clothes with them, and whatever else belongs to the doctor's office; third, have a sign painted with the words 'I am the Doctor Omniscient,' and have that nailed over the top of your house. The farmer did everything as he was told.
When he had done a little doctoring, but not much, money was stolen from a rich gentleman. Then he was told by the doctor All-know, who lived in such and such a village and would also have to know where the money had gone. So the gentleman had his wagon hitched up, drove out to the village and asked him if he was the Doctor All-know? Yes, he was. So he should go with him and bring the stolen money back. Oh yes, but Grethe, his wife, would have to go too. The lord was satisfied, and let them both sit in the wagon, and they drove away together. When they arrived at the noble court, the table was set, and he was supposed to eat with them. Yes, but so should his wife, Grethe," he said, and sat down with her behind the table. When the first servant came with a bowl of beautiful food, the farmer nudged his wife and said, 'Grethe, that was the first one,' and said it was the one who brought the first food. The servant, however, thought he was saying 'this is the first thief,' and because he really was, he was afraid and said to his comrades outside, 'the doctor knows everything, we'll get in bad: he said I was the first. The second didn't want to come in at all, but he had to. As he came in with his bowl, the Farmer nudged his wife, 'Grethe, that's the second one. The servant was also frightened, and he made him come out. The third one didn't feel any better, the farmer said again, "Grethe, that's the third one. The fourth had to carry in a covered bowl, and the master said to the doctor that he should show his art and guess what was under it; but it was crabs. The farmer looked at the bowl, did not know how to help himself, and said, "Alas, poor crab! When the gentleman heard this, he exclaimed, "There, he knows it, now he also knows who has the money.
The servant, however, was terrified and winked at the doctor, asking him to come out. As he came out, all four of them confessed to him that they had stolen the money: they would gladly give it to him and a heavy sum if he did not want to betray them: otherwise it would be on their necks. They also led him to where the money was hidden. Satisfied with this, the doctor went back inside, sat down at the table, and said, "Sir, now I will look in my book to see where the money is. The fifth servant crawled into the oven and wanted to hear if the doctor knew anything more. He sat down and opened his Abc book, leafed back and forth and looked for the Göckel cock. Because he couldn't find it right away, he said, "You're in there and you have to come out, too. The rooster in the oven thought he was meant, jumped out in fright and shouted, "The man knows everything. Now the doctor omnisciently showed the gentleman where the money was, but did not say who had stolen it, got a lot of money from both sides as a reward, and became a famous man.