Hans Married



A young farmer acquires a rich bride with the help of his cousin due to misunderstanding puns.

Once upon a time, there was a young farmer named Hans, whose cousin wanted to woo a rich wife. So he put Hans behind the stove and had it well heated. Then he fetched a pot of milk and a good quantity of white bread, gave him a newly minted shiny penny in his hand and said, 'Hans, hold on to that penny and the white bread, bake it into the milk, and sit there, and don't leave my place until I come back.' 'Yes,' said Hans, 'I'll do all that.' Now the wooer put on a pair of old, worn-out pants, went to the other village to a rich farmer's daughter and said, 'won't you marry my cousin Hans? you'll get a brave and clever man who will please you. The miserly father asked, "What about his fortune? Does he also have something to bring in? Dear friend,' replied the advertiser, 'my young cousin sits warmly, has a good penny in his hand, and has a lot to bring in. He should not count less pennies (as the goods were called) than I do,' and slapped his penned trousers. If you want to take the trouble to go with me, you will be shown that everything is as I say. Then the miser did not want to let go of the good opportunity and said, 'If that is so, I have nothing more against the marriage.
Now the wedding was celebrated on the appointed day, and when the young woman wanted to go into the field and see the bridegroom's goods, Hans first took off his Sunday dress and put on his patchy smock and said, "I could spoil my good dress. Then they went together into the field, and where the vine was visible from the path, or fields and meadows were divided, Hans pointed with his finger and struck a large or small patch of his gown, and said 'the patch is mine and that one too, my darling, just look at it,' and wanted to say with that that the woman should not look into the wide field, but look at his gown, that would be his own.
Have you also been to the wedding?' 'Yes, I have been there, and in full state. My headdress was made of snow, when the sun came, and it melted off; my dress was made of cobweb, when I came through thorns, they tore it off; my slippers were made of glass, when I bumped against a stone, they said klink! and burst in two.'